When you would like to ask for donations to be made in the name of your loved one DON'T use the phrase "in lieu of flowers" This sends the wrong message to people that you do not want any flowers at the service, when in reality most do. Most memorials that take place really do need flowers. Studies have shown the importance of flowers during times of emotional stress to be very comforting. This is also the most detrimental phrase in the floral industry. As floral professional we understand how somber a viewing or service can be without flowers. Flowers are a great way to add beauty and comfort those who attend a service and also to pay tribute to the deceased. This phrase offers the message to not send flowers and undermines the floral business. Instead lets try "send flowers and donations can be made to ..." or "in addition to flowers donations can be made to ..." There is nothing wrong with doing both or having the option to do either. Lets give the option to do either.